It's that time again... we wear red, release balloons, look at pictures, reminisce of bittersweet memories, visit the cemetery and try not to lose it completely. It's been 2 years since our family was complete... without a hole in our family photos and in our hearts.
Two years ago, we were spending our last few precious days with Zoe in the hospital. We had made the dreadful decision to set her free from life support, tubes, pricks and pokes. We knew that the only way for her to find peace was to return to our Father in Heaven.
August 25, 2012
Life over the past two years has been excruciating at times. At others, I feel more joy than I ever knew possible. The lessons that our daughter Zoe continues to teach not only us, but many... begin
with what's really important in this life and in the eyes of God. Family and Faith are continuously leading us back to her.
July 4, 2012
A lifetime apart is a long time, but eternity together is worth the wait.
I watched our Zoe video yesterday which opened the floodgates of grief. It's like turning back the clock and I'm right back in that raw, heavy hearted state. Andrew and Lulu joined me halfway through and we just held each other. Lulu started crying hysterically towards the end. She has been asking for Zoe more than usual lately. I don't know if she senses the anniversary approaching or if she's having Zoe Days but the poor thing was a mess. It is so unbelievably painful to watch your young one grieve her sibling and what could have, would have been.
The Life of Zoe Grace
She says "I wish Zoe could have stayed with us. I think this baby will stay." Ever since last night, Lulu has been very sensitive. It breaks our hearts to see her sort through the pain.
It's intriguing to imagine what Zoe is doing in Heaven, preparing our little one to come to our family and sharing her wisdom with others.
I know our daughter served her purpose here on earth. In this life, I don't know or understand why her time had to be so short. But I can foresee an eternal understanding once this life leads into the next.
Today has been a family day. We went to the park where Lulu was running happily and accidentally sunk her foot in a a bunch of mud. Andrew found her shoe eventually.
After getting cleaned up and a quick change, we went and sat in our Zoe booth at Red Robin, one of the few public places we shared with our angel. Booth #21 means a lot to us and has become a tradition for each anniversary and birthday.
Following lunch we headed to the cemetery to clean Zoe's headstone, place new flowers and release balloons. We each wrote a message on the balloons to be sent to Zoe.