Two years ago today, we welcomed a little piece of Heaven into our hearts and lives. We are forever changed. We are forever better because of Zoe.
I look at myself in these pictures and my heart hurts for the young mother that I see and the journey she is about to experience. I see the hope and fear in her eyes and want to tell her that she is stronger than she knows. That she is about to witness miracles, tender mercies and the greatest eternal lesson. I want to shake her and warn her of the excruciating pain that she is about to feel. But most of all, I want to tell her to never give up. Always trust in Him and you will get through another day.
As a grieving parent, birthdays seem to be more difficult than the anniversary of death. The finality of her passing is easier to comprehend because we were there. We saw her slipping away and grow weaker until her body could handle no more. Birthdays are not that way. There is a layer of grief over what could have been and what will never be. It is for that reason that I think this 2nd birthday has been such a test of faith.
I woke up today with more joy and enthusiasm than I have in the passed couple weeks. I immediately felt a near tangible break in the fog. My heart was full of gratitude and relief to celebrate with the ones I love most.
Londyn was so excited to wear all things red, including the necklace her Auntie Steph made with Zoe's picture on it. She also decided to take her photo album and elephant Gracie (whom she has grown very attached to as of late) to show and tell at school.
When we picked her up from school, she showed us a chalk drawing of Zoe's headstone that she made.
After school we went to Red Robin, one of the two restaurants that we went to with Zoe. We even sat at the same table.
Following lunch we released balloons and sang Happy Birthday at the cemetery.
This day is so beautiful that I can practically feel her smile through the sunshine. It has truly been a Zoe day. Perfect in every way.
Happy Birthday sweet angel.