Zoe remains stable today as she continues to fight, heal and rest. She has been closing her eyes to rest more frequently and even grasped my finger with what little strength she has. Zoe is breathing on her own but the ventilator will kick in if she needs extra support. Her O2 sats are in the low 80's and her heart rate is ranging from 120-125. She seems much more rested and relaxed today.
Dr. King feels that there is no change today from his evaluation yesterday. But, I am choosing to disagree. The gentle responses that we see at her bedside throughout the day... every day, minimal but certainly significant. I see tender mercies and signs that she is hanging on and fighting hard. Dr. King told us today that she will have another EEG and CT on Monday. After reviewing those results, a plan will need to be made.
The waiting is getting harder and patience is running thin. I miss my baby and just want her back. When we kiss on her now, she smells like "Hospital Zoe"... strong scents of medical tape and alcohol wipes. When I got home tonight, I smelled all of her recent clothes and blankets... but couldn't find her smell anywhere. My heart hurts. I feel so far away from her right now. I just want my Zoe back.