So I'm creeping up on two years since I gave birth to the almost 10 pounds of Londyn Joy. Having struggled with an eating disorder most of my adolescent life, let's just say the 60 lbs. I gained while prego was a tough reality to face. I look back now and really should have cut back on the 20 piece chicken nugget runs... countless times a week and probably should have thrown out the words "super size it" from my vocabulary. I have always LOVED food and it is one of my many struggles as I also have a really hard time accepting my body in the way it was given to me.
Between my teenage years and now, I have popped almost every diet pill on the shelves, tried strenuous diets- including no carbs, hormone injections and prepackaged meals. It even got as ugly as not eating at all or the worst, binging and purging.
I am finally starting to get a glimpse at how unrealistic the bodies are on the covers of People & Cosmo mags. To aspire to look like those women would be to forget everything that I am about. I would not be able to focus on my family and be the best me. I would spend too much time living for just myself, rather than for my husband, daughter and Heavenly Father. It really is a tough world out there and as I teach the Young Women in my ward, I am constantly praying for them to see what I didn't see in myself at their age.
A couple week ago, I started the Weight Watchers lifestyle. Now, I say lifestyle because I don't feel like it's a diet. I am eating everything I would normally eat but with more of a healthy perspective on what I am putting in my body. It is more of a game with all the points and I feel like I am winning! I officially weigh less than I did when I found out I was pregnant with LJ. It feels good to be back down to a healthy weight, but my body will never be the same. Things just aren't where they once were. A song that comes to mind is, "One of these things is not like the other..." haha
Anyway, I am going to continue being active, thinking before I eat, drinking diet coke whenever I feel like it and most importantly, enjoying life without revolving it around food and numbers on the scale!