Today I felt the spirit. The Christmas spirit. It has been lingering over the past few months, but I felt it so strongly today. It was the overwhelming blanket of sheer goodness, that you just want to bottle up and spread all throughout the year.
Today it was in the Dollar Tree when a little girl, probably 5 or 6 years old came up to Londyn and gave her a dollar bill. She smiled with her mom and sister and simply said "Merry Christmas." It was in the grocery store as I walked down the aisles and strangers exchanged sincere smiles and the words "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays." It was in my child's eyes when she begged to put money in the "bell lady's" bucket for the Salvation Army. It was in our car as we delivered gifts to our friends and neighbors and especially when Londyn handed them out saying, "Happy Holiday Christmas!" It was at the cemetery when we visited our baby's grave.
The Christmas spirit is so strong for us this year. I feel like we have so much hope and peace to give others after all that Zoe shared with us. After tucking Lulu in bed and kissing Andrew goodnight, I feel so blessed tonight as I sit here reflecting on the day. Christmas is such a beautiful time and although the magic doesn't stay with us all year round, it makes it that much more special when it is here.
We started seeing a glimpse of understanding Santa in Londyn last year, but this year Santa is a rock star in her eyes. She is all about Santa and his residence at the North Pole with his reindeer's. We hear her singing Christmas songs all day long and she LOVES to tell about her visit with Santa at the Bridgeport Mall. Today she said, "Mom... how will Santa know which stocking is mine? They don't have our names on them!" She was so worried! I told her "Santa has been doing this for a long time and know's what he's doing. He doesn't need to see your name on the stocking because he just know's." She was content with my answer and quickly moved on to another topic as most 3 year olds do. I know this fascination with Santa is not what Christmas is all about, but seeing the magic and joy on my little girl's face is precious and special in it's own way. We only have the innocent belief in Santa for a few more years (hopefully MORE!) and we are thoroughly enjoying it. I also love how she has grasped the story of Jesus' birth and talks about it whenever we see the nativity scene. She has the story down much better than I ever did as a child and loves to tell it in detail.
Many people ask if it's difficult during the holidays and of course it is, but I think the Christmas season could not have come at a better time. The Christmas spirit and everything that is Zoe go hand in hand. Zoe has given me so much to be thankful for and inspires me to GIVE and graciously receive. She has blessed me with greater compassion for others and their life stories. Zoe has shown me that there is so much more to this life than I ever realized and that I have a lot of learning to do before I can be with her again. I have realized that if I can continue to keep her spirit with me, I will feel the magic and peace that is felt during Christmas at all times.