I checked out of the Birth Center yesterday at about 11:30am. We went up to the PICU to spend some time with Zoe. After about 30 minutes, we decided to head home. Both Andrew and I were overly exhausted, irritable and starving. We still needed to pick up Londyn at my parents' house and fill my prescriptions at the pharmacy.
I had no problem leaving the hospital, but everything hit me really hard once we got home. I was bawling off and on all night long. It hurt so badly to be away from my baby. We were together for 9 months and then just down the hall from each other for the last 4 days.
Not being able to see her whenever my heart aches is not easy to get used to and to be honest, sucks big time. At about 9pm last night, I called Zoe's nurse Tiffany to get an update. I was sobbing on the phone and Tiffany was so sweet that she offered to text me a picture of Zoe on her personal cell phone. She didn't have to do that and I hadn't even thought to ask, but that is exactly what I needed to be able to relax and get some sleep.
She sent this photo with the message, "snug as a bug in a rug"
Andrew and I went to the hospital around noon today, while my mom watched Lulu. Our beautiful little Zoe is looking like a completely different baby with all of the fluid coming off. She looks so tiny now!
I was a little bummed yesterday when I found out that Zoe would not have her chest closed today but deep down I appreciate her doctors for running on "Zoe Time" and not rushing the process. They wanted to reduce the swelling as much as possible before closing her up.
I am SO excited to share that she is scheduled to have her chest closed tomorrow morning at 7:30am. Her heart rate has come down significantly, fluid continues to come off, her heart is working all on it's own without intervention and she hasn't shown any need for concern thus far.
After her chest is closed, the next step is getting her off the ventilator. This could take 1 to 2 days, but I will be able to hold her as soon as that happens! It feels like a lifetime since I last heard her coos and whimpers. I miss holding her tiny little baby body in my arms.
This bag is filled with all of the fluid that has drained in the last 24 hours from the peritoneal dialysis. I can't believe how much fluid her body has retained! No wonder she was so swollen and puffy.
This is Zoe's lovely room in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. I just love how spacious it is and the big window with lots of natural sunlight is so refreshing. In front of the large window is a sofa bed and a rocking chair. The nurse brought in a pump so that I don't have to bring any pumping supplies from home. There's also a big curtain for privacy, a tv and a nice bathroom - all in her private room.
My dad came by after his long work day to check on his newest granddaughter and to take me home. My entire family has been so amazingly supportive while we have been in the hospital. Everyone visited us at least once and all of my siblings were able to see her in the NICU before surgery. My mom, sister Jenelle and sister-in-law Bec have been and continue to care for Londyn so that I can be at the hospital. When Londyn is with them, I not only don't have to worry about her at all but I know without a doubt that she is having a blast, getting spoiled and playing with cousins. My sis Jenelle has offered to manage our food and meals being brought in. She even went grocery shopping for us today. My brother Eric and his wife Sarah called up my dad on our way home from the hospital and invited us to go out to dinner with them. Even though I am pretty exhausted, it was nice to get out and have a meal with family and Lulu... doing something normal. My mom is picking up Lulu in the morning and then making a Costco run... to buy who know's what. Probably the whole store! I can't thank my family enough for their service of time and love. I don't think we could survive this without them.